


Not Worthy of You

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean is a Sweetheart, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Human Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Sam Ships It, Self-Esteem Issues, but hes fine don't worry, cas almost dies, cas is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 21:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10648542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Dean?""Yeah, Cas?""I… I think I love you."





	Not Worthy of You

"Cas!" Pain and fear ripped through Dean as he saw Castiel fall to his knees, clutching his stomach. The werewolf turned to growl at Dean, leaving Cas in his half-dead state to lunge at the hunter. It didn't get far, as Sam plunged the silver knife into the monster's back. With the fight over, Dean turned back to Cas and raced over to his best friend.  
"Fuck, Cas, buddy stay with me," he begged as he kneeled down to pick him up. "Sam! Go get Baby!"  
Sam nodded and ran off. Dean began to feel tears prick at his eyes and he hugged Castiel's body closer. "Please, Cas, please don't die, Cas I need you so bad goddammit."  
The former angel's eyes fluttered slightly and he looked up at Dean. He slowly brought a hand up to his face and stroked it. "Dean…."  
Finally, Sam came around with the Impala and Dean gently placed Cas on the backseat, resting his friend's head in his lap. "Drive, Sammy. We're going to a hospital," he said through a clenched jaw and stony expression.  
"But Dean-"  
"I said drive, Sammy!"  
Sam started the car and drove. Fuck the speed limit, he'd never seen Dean like this and didn't want to make him more upset. The hospital it was.  
~later at the bunker~  
Cas was all patched up and laying on the couch, Dean sitting next to him and gently running his fingers through Castiel's hair. Dean was still shaking at the thought of how close he'd come to losing Cas. He needed him more than he'd ever admit, even to himself. Cas had become his rock just as much as Sam had been since he was four, and he couldn't imagine life without him anymore. When he had lost his grace to Metatron (fucking Metatron; Dean wanted to rip his throats out for fucking with Cas) Dean had never been so scared. It was in that moment when he had realized that he loved Cas. And not like a brother, the way he always said. That may have had something to do with why he was so scared. He wanted Cas so bad, wanted to settle down with someone, and who better than an ex-angel/hunter who could take care of himself and look out for Dean at the same time? But then he'd had his big gay freak out and never told anyone. He'd been attracted to guys before, sure, but never like this. This wasn't "oh i wouldn't mind fucking that guy" this was "I love you and I would literally die without you." What was he supposed to do with that? He was pulled from his thoughts by when he heard Cas weakly call for him.  
"Dean?"  
"Hey, Cas, you're awake," he smiled down at him. His heart sped up slightly at the sight of those gorgeous blue eyes looking at him like he was the entire fucking world. Dean didn't feel worthy of being looked at like that.  
"Dean, what happened?"  
Dean sighed and continued running his fingers through Cas' hair, Cas leaning into the touch like a cat.  
"Wolf got the jump on you, man. Slashed at your stomach a bit, but we took you to the hospital and you're ok. Don't worry about it."  
"Is the werewolf dead?" Cas let his hand drift up to Dean's lower thigh and he began slowly tracing circles there. Dean's breath caught in his throat as he tried to answer.  
"Yeah, Sammy ganked it," he choked out.  
"Dean are you alright?" Cas sounded legitimately concerned, and he managed to pull himself up to a sitting position, his hand migrating upwards involuntarily. Dean bit his lip and held himself back from jumping Cas right then and there.  
"Yeah, I'm good buddy, just got kinda scared."  
Castiel's head tilted slightly and his brow furrowed in confusion slightly. "But why?" Dean couldn't believe how sincerely surprised he sounded.  
"Cas, are you kidding? You're my best friend, I can't lose you! You're family!"  
Cas' eyes dropped down to his lap and he removed his hand from Dean's thigh. "I'm not important, Dean," he said quietly.  
Anger flared in Dean and he grabbed his friend's face between his hands, forcing him to make eye contact. "Cas, that's so not true. Don't fucking say that to me, ok? You're so fucking important to me and Sam."  
"Dean, I'm expendable," he insisted.  
"Shut up, Cas, just shut up okay? I need you here. Why do you think I spent a whole fucking year looking for you in purgatory? You know, a lot of the shit you've done, like the whole mess with Crowley a while back, if it was anyone else but Sam they'd be dead. By me. But you're different. You're…" Dean trailed off, trying to get him message across without letting on to his true feelings. "…special," he finished softly.  
Cas' huge blue eyes softened with wonder and he leaned forward slightly. Dean's eyes dropped to his lips, wondering (not for the first time) how they would feel against his own. Shaking that thought from his mind, he dropped his hands back to his sides, letting go of Cas' face.  
"I mean it, Cas. You can't die, ok? Please."  
"Ok. Ok, Dean," Cas replied, still seeming a little shell shocked. He sat back and stared at the wall for a few minutes, then spoke up again. "Dean?"  
"Yeah, Cas?"  
"I… I think I love you."  
Suddenly Dean was at full attention. "What do you mean?"  
Cas turned to face him, his piercing eyes boring into Dean. "I believe that I am in love with you," he stated matter of factly.  
"You don't mean that," Dean breathed. "You can't mean that." But a flicker of hope had sparked in his chest, and he clutched to that hope desperately.  
"Dean," Cas sighed in annoyance. "It's not that difficult of a concept."  
"It is when it's me!" Dean suddenly felt angry, defensive. "Cas, you deserve so much better than me, ok? You deserve someone like… someone like Sam, ok? I'm a fuckup. I'm not good enough for you."  
Castiel's eyes flashed with something unrecognizable, then he was suddenly straddling Dean's hips and towering over him as he pushed him into the couch.  
"Maybe you should "shut up", Dean Winchester. You are the Righteous Man, you sold your soul to save your brother, you saved the world by your infuriating tendency to never do as you're told. You survived 30 years of torture in Hell without breaking. If anything, I'm not good enough for you."  
"Cas," Dean whispered.  
"Now that we have that sorted out, if you have no objections, I'm going to kiss you."  
Dean's breath caught in his throat as he stared up at his best friend, the most beautiful person he'd ever met, someone who he loved more fiercely than he thought it was possible to love, and he simply nodded. Then Cas leaned forward slowly, his breath ghosting over Dean's lips, causing them both to shiver slightly. After a slight pause, Dean leaned up and captured Cas' mouth in his own. Nothing had ever felt so right in his life, and he went pliant and open, letting Cas do as he pleased with him, which turned out to be kissing him as if he was something precious and breakable, nipping at his lower lip and gently exploring his mouth with his tongue. They melted into the kiss, into each other, and Dean could hardly believe that it was happening. Finally, after all these years, he had what he needed. It overwhelmed him, and he grabbed Cas' hips, pulling their bodies flush together as they continued kissing each other, learning each other's bodies, finally taking what they'd wanted all this time. When Cas pulled back, he rested his forehead on Dean's and stared into his eyes. Dean sighed and looped his arm's around his best friend's waist, letting his eyes fall closed, finally content. They fell asleep like that that night, curled up in each other's arms on the couch. Sam came into the room the next morning and smiled at the sight of his brother and his friend finally where he knew they needed to be.  
"It was about fuckin time," he whispered softly to himself, then turned to the kitchen to make them a congratulatory breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Destiel ever and my first fanfic in a while, so thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it! Un beta'd, I'm totally open to suggestions and criticism or requests even.


End file.
